Image by danieljohnsonjr via Flickr

Whew! Ever feel glad the weekend was over so you could go back to work and rest? I almost feel that way. Here’s how last weekend went for us.

FRIDAY

Friday night after work, I stopped by the church building to pick Jennie and Keisha up from a preteen meeting. When got back home, I watched The Bourne Ultimatum while Jennie and Keisha did their thing.

SATURDAY

Saturday we went to our Weight Watchers meeting and then to the Baroque Violin Shop in College Hill to pick up a viola for Keisha. We then dropped her off at a friend’s house.

After this Jennie dropped me off at home, and she went to get a pedicure. I took a nap. When she came home, we watched TV for awhile and then got ready for my 20-year high school reunion.

The reunion was something that I and several others had been working on for several months. It was great to see all the hard work from everyone come together. But it was even greater to see so many folks that I hadn’t seen in 20 years.

SUNDAY

Sunday morning we woke up and went to church. I always get there early since I help run the sound. Yesterday we began a four-week series on Worship, and there were some changes in how the sound and lighting were set up. Adaptability is key in these situations.

It was a great service and left me feeling really grateful that I don’t have to worship God the way he commanded in the Old Testament and very grateful that through Jesus Christ God has come near.

Afterward, Keisha and I went to choir rehearsal for two of the songs we’ll be doing in the next couple of weeks. That has been something we both have been enjoying together.

After church we went to Winton Woods to join up with others from our class and their families. We had lunch and got to spend more time together and have more in-depth conversations than we were able to have the night before. It has been very cool to reconnect with these folks, and thanks to social media tools, we’re able to stay connected.

We hung out at the picnic for a few hours and then returned home to get a grocery list together. I got a phone call from one of the ministers from church, who asked if I could head back to the building to lock it up. The usual person who locks up was out of town, and he was in an appointment with another couple.

Since it wasn’t too far to drive, I offered to help out. I dropped Jennie and Keisha off at the store along the way. We eventually came home, put everything away, and still had a bit of time to relax.

It was quite an unusual weekend, and I’m really glad it was memorable.  How was yours?

This post originates from http://journeyinsidemymind.com

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This audio is all I want to say here at this time. More to come later.

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Mom just called and left us a tearful message on our answering machine:

Hey kids, Kenny just called, and they had to pull the life support today. It’s in the process of being over. Pray that he has a peaceful passing. When I know anything else, I’ll give you a call.

It’s always been in God’s hands.

Last night the doctors were talking about doing a tracheotomy on him, and Ken and Julie discussed it with each other. They were concerned about it leading to another thing, and then another thing after that. They were concerned that his overall quality of life would be nil.

I guess we’ll find out what happens as it happens.

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My Mom posted an update at her blog

Just got this from my Mom. Janet was Uncle Walt’s wife, who passed away about 4 years ago.

Ken just called with terrible news.
Walt is in full septic shock. his white blood count is extremely high and he has a high fever. They are giving him megadoses of every possible antibiotic they can. They also have him on full blown diaysis.They are willing to risk his kidneys to save his life.

We are being told to prepare for the worst.

I still believe in miracles and he will have one if that is God’s will.

If not I pray for a peaceful passing to the other side where I know Janet, Mom and Dad will be waiting for him.

I still believe anything’s possible, and God definitely has a plan. Please pray also for my cousins Ken and Julie, and their families. They’ve been going through this with their Dad.

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Yesterday I updated Journey Inside My Mind with some urgent news about my Uncle Walt Mitchell, who has been having complications related to his recent heart transplant. I mentioned I’d update again once I’ve heard anything else.

Here’s an update my Mom emailed last night at 9 PM Eastern to friends and family:

Ken just called and said they opened Walt up, and his chest cavity was filled with blood. They presently have his chest cavity packed and have basically left his chest wall open and covered with a dressing.

They know they have to go back in but are hoping they can hold off until sometime Friday to give his body some chance to recover. Today he has received 20 litres of blood.

He has spiked a 102 F fever now too.

He did come to at one point and was able to shake his head and mouthed “I love you” to the kids.

They are keeping him heavily sedated, of course.

The docs told the kids with all the technology, all the medications, and all the skill, it has pretty much come down to a crap shoot.

Ken said it’s pretty much coming down to a miracle, and I told him my God is in the miracle-making business.

Keep praying. Prayer has brought him this far, and it can bring him through this.

I love all of you and want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. Maybe we will get better news tommorow.

I continue to be amazed at how much something like this brings people together. Our family is so encouraged and inspired to know that you are praying. Please keep it up.

I’ll be sure to post back when I get any news.

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Mom sent an email last night with the following update on my Uncle Walt:

Ken just called. The new heart is in, but Walt is bleeding profusely. And he is filled with infection. They just now are taking him back in to surgery again to try to stop the bleeding and figure out what to do about the infection. The doctors are not optimistic but as we have learned The Great Physician can do anything.

Please keep praying.

I was just chatting with her, and she added:

The doctors have taken him back to the OR to try to stop the bleeding. This was in the past hour. If ever Walt needed prayer this is it. I haven’t slept all night. People all over are praying.

Ken said he’d call tonight (around 7 PM Eastern) with an update unless something worse has happened. So let’s hope I don’t hear from him until after 7.

Thank you all so much for having remembered my Uncle Walt in prayer; please keep praying. I’ll be sure to post an update here when I get news.

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This video moved me to tears. Hope it moves you, too:

Thanks to Bob I. for sending me the link via e-mail.

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I woke up this morning and was about to get ready for work when our dog Jake came in to “ask” if I’d take him outside for a walk. I said, “Sure, what the heck. Even if it’s just 15 minutes around the block. It would be great for you and me to spend some time with God, too.”

Our apartment complex has a lot of trees, and as I walk the dog in the morning, I hear birds from all over the place with their morning songs. Squirrels, too. And we even have a duck pond with ducks who often spend time outside the pond area. Geese, too, but they prefer to keep to themselves.

It’s really interesting around spring as we see ducklings and goslings being born, and the protective nature of their parents in action.

For me, in the morning, as I walk the dog, I’m reminded more of God’s beauty and creativity. I love how he manages this small area of the universe so well, and I marvel that I get to enjoy it.

I’ve often used these walks in the morning to talk with God about my own anxieties, concerns, worries, etc. I realize that I’m not meant to be that way, but that it’s really God’s intent and purpose for me that I pour these things out to him. He is able to work so many things out, even the bad things that happen.

Most of the time I pray for my own heart and character to be changed, so that I can more readily handle what is going on. Not from an endurance perspective, but I prefer to have a warrior mindset about the things going on in my life.

If you read the older posts, you’ll find that I’ve often struggled with depression and anxiety. I think some of the ways I’ve tried to cope with it is to not get too emotionally involved with what’s going on around me. As I type that, I see of course that’s not the right thing to do, and so I’ve prayed for God to help me be in touch with all that’s going on around me and not to shrink back from problems and obstacles, but to face them head on.

Just some things I’m thinking about as I head into the new day and week.

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Keisha just stopped pouring herself a drink to pour me something. I told her that’s very much like Jesus. Then this exchange ensued:

ME: Jesus is our hero, you know
KEISHA: And you’re my hero, too

I love that. I just want to bottle it up and store it for those rough moments in life.

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… previously on the Journey Inside My Mind… the Five Questions Interview – Part 1 – The Questions…

Don’t worry. I’ll repost them here, this time with the answers:

The instructions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

*****
Now, for my first interview, here are some questions from Ganns, the Official Superblessed Blogger of Journey Inside My Mind. Thanks for the questions, bro! It took me awhile to come up with the answers, but after stewing on them for awhile, they just seemed to flow.

1. Describe yourself in three sentences, from the perspective of any movie character.

   These three come from Dicky Fox, from “Jerry McGuire (1996)“: “I love getting up in the morning! I clap my hands and say, ‘This is gonna be a great day!’” (that’s 2, here’s the 3rd): “Roll with the punches; tomorrow’s another day.”

2. What five things bring you most joy?

   Relationship with God, spending time with my wife, spending time with my daughter, music, encouragement – giving and receiving

3. What is the Bible verse you recite to yourself most during times of trouble?

   It’s so hard to pick only one because I remember several during times of trouble (This almost sounds like the beginning to “Let It Be” by The Beatles.). I would have to say that, if I could only choose one, it would be Romans 8:38-39, which I reproduce below from the NIV:
   

   For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

4. Ultimate dinner party. Who are three of your guests?

   Jesus Christ, my wife Jennie, and my daughter Keisha. Otherwise I’d be in big trouble, huh?

5. Why should we journey inside your mind?

   Where else can you find out what happens when a man goes through his own portal? Seriously, though, you need to find out all about my super powers, and being here is a good start.

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Mood: caffeinated
Listening to: Some podsafe instrumental music
Eating: breakfast

A little bit of French:

Bon matin! Il pleut et il fait un peu froid. Nous preparon aller a l’eglise.

A long time ago, when I had just graduated from college (11 years ago, ha!), but even before that, in 1991, I met James H. After college, I didn’t immediately have a job, and I needed a place to stay. He let me room at his apartment and eat his food. He and I both became Christians about the same time.

This afternoon he’s marrying the love of his life, Julie, right down the street from where we live. Over the past month he travelled to the Ukraine to get her. See, he met her online some time ago, and had spent time over there with her. When we moved back to Cincinnati last March, he mentioned that he was engaged.

I am so glad for him. I remember eating lunch with him about five years ago, and he asked me to pray that he’d get a girlfriend. Wow. God does answer prayer. Maybe not in our timing – well, usually not in our timing.

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

– Ephesians 4:14-16

Which is better:

1. Speaking the truth, but not necessarily in love, or
2. Not speaking the truth at all?

What if, in an effort to stave off further emotional pain, you speak up – in a way that could be perceived as being not “in love” – is this not better than saying nothing at all? What if an environment of mutual openness and honesty is not present or someone is or comes across as “unapproachable”?

In the past I’ve noticed that I’ve been one to stay quiet because it hasn’t felt worth it to speak up. I’ve rationalized that I’m just being too sensitive/emotional/thin-skinned. Suck it up, I’ve told myself, and be a “man”.

I’ve learned this past week that not being honest about my feelings is not being honest. As I write that previous sentence, it seems rather obvious. Yet I’ve been in this habit for so long of not being open and honest when my feelings have gotten hurt by someone else.

This realization shows me how subtle lying is. I’m reminded of 2 Corinthians 11:13-15, where the apostle Paul mentions that “Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light” and likewise where Jesus says in John 8:43-45:

Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me!

I’ve developed a pattern of holding my hurt feelings inside, and it’s done me more emotional harm than good. I’ve mentioned in earlier posts about my struggles with Compulsive Scab Picking (CSP), and I have come to realize that I engage in this behavior to compensate for not being open and honest about these emotions. I’ve tended to channel the inner hurt into external harm to myself.

While I’ve used much of this post to describe how harmful dishonesty is to oneself, I could probably use at least as much space to discuss how harmful dishonesty is to the person who has done the hurting.

If someone has hurt you, especially if by design it’s “supposed to be” a close relationship (e.g., family or friend), then it does that person no good to not say anything. In fact, because you don’t say anything, he or she will probably continue in the offensive behavior not only with you, but also with others.

Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

– Romans 1:28-32 (emphasis added)

I want to develop the practice of “speaking the truth in love”, but I’ll start with just speaking the truth if that’s what it takes.

Our house is on the market to be sold as a “short-sell”, which, in simplistic terms, means that the mortgage company agrees to let our house be sold for less than we owe on it, based on our financial situation:

On Saturday, while we were at the park, our realtor brought someone through the house, and this individual has made an offer.

We had a very brief meeting with a bancruptcy attorney yesterday. I like this guy. He came out in his white socks; i.e., without any shoes on. His office was huge, too. I had had an ADHD moment, in which I originally wrote down that our appointment was at 4PM in two areas of my planner, but when I transferred it to the daily page, I wrote it down as being at 4:30PM.

So, we had to reschedule the appointment. This was a good thing, since we still have much paperwork to go through. I only went through the upstairs mail yesterday. We have an entire table and then some to go through downstairs. I told the lawyer that I’d been in denial, and he replied that my behaviour was typical. He encouraged us to continue going through the mail… that the mail cannot hurt us… that there’s no such thing as debtor’s prison (it was done away with 200 years ago – thank God!).

The attorney also gave us a more realistic understanding of what our options were, including some stipulations that are present with us doing a short-sell.

After Jennie and I came home, we took Keisha to her new school, Valerie Elementary, for the open house. It was encouraging to see all the parents there, to meet Keisha’s Kindergarten teacher, and to see some parents and kids we’d known from Gettysburg, the school Keisha attended last year. I think it’s a bit of an understatement to say that Keisha is excited about going to Kindgergarten, and I think we’re all going to enjoy it with her.

After we came home, Keisha did something that was just so sweet. Entirely on her own, she pulled out 4 bowls, 4 spoons, and made sure that there were 4 cups. She then went to the freezer to get the two half-gallon containers of ice cream and made us all dessert! No one told her to do that; she decided to do it on her own! That’s MY daughter, people!

Then, after Jennie and Keisha headed downstairs, I walked outside to talk to Mom. I asked her if she wanted to pray together with me about all the stuff going on with us, along with some specific prayers for certain individuals. That was just great. I love my Mom!