Category Archives: humor

Sep 30

JIMM 093 – Early Autumn Goodness

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SUMMARY

Fantastic music. Funny stuff. Twitter friends and others check in. Some follow-up from the One Voice Walk. Other appearances by yours truly.

LISTENING OPTIONS

MUSIC

Music from the Podsafe Music Network (PMN) and other places.

Title (with link to iTunes or other place to purchase, if available)Artist (with link to the artists’ website, if available)Album (with link to Amazon.com or CDBaby.com, if available)
99 PercentThe Mooney SuzukiHave Mercy (Amazon)
Banjo BoyRyan Shupe and the Rubber BandDream Big (Amazon)
Bye Bye Baby Bye ByeRon RutherfordLone Wolf
Kids RockTim HawkinsTunaFish Productions (link to buy CDs, DVDs)
Domino’s PizzaPaul and StormOpening Band (Amazon)
StaplegunnedThe Spill CanvasDenial Feels So Good (Amazon)

The Journey Inside My Mind theme is “Up and Go” by Rory. Background music during the Pod 5 segment is “The Jump House Rock” by after son

OTHER LINK-LOVE

Jul 16

Three Male Dogs – JOKE ALERT!

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Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, “The first one who can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.”

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, “I love liver and cheese.”

“Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”

She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says “How well can you do?”

“Um. I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever.

“My, my,” said the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.”

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?”

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says,

“Liver alone. Cheese mine.”

via e-mail from the Official Mom

Related tags: journey+inside+my+mind journeyinsidemymind jimm daniel+johnson+jr

Jun 24

Dan and Jennie Talk Stuff (video)

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Jennie and I talk about spending most of the day without sleep, White Castle hamburgers, Pepto Bismol, and getting beaten up with a chicken. Click play and let us know what you think by either leaving a comment, sending an email, or calling the Journey Inside My Mind Podcast hotline at (206) 666-5466

Related tags: journey+inside+my+mind journeyinsidemymind jimm daniel+johnson+jr

May 28

Three Men Hiking! – JOKE ALERT!

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Mood: upbeat
Listening to: Keisha getting ready for bed
Reading: Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time
Eating: popcorn
Watching: The Perfect Man

This came via an email from Michelle P., who knows I have a sense of humor.

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river. Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, “God, please give me the strength to cross the river.” Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, “God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river.” Poof! God gave him a rowboat, strong arms, and strong legs, and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed,”God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross this river.” Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream, and walked across the bridge!

Related tags: journey+inside+my+mind journeyinsidemymind jimm daniel+johnson+jr

Feb 22

The Envelope – JOKE ALERT!

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A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I’ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it’s not only the passion, Dad, she’s pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that’s in my desk drawer.

got this via email from Jeff

Related tags: journey+inside+my+mind journeyinsidemymind jimm daniel+johnson+jr

Dec 28

Video Greetings for December 28th

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crossposted to Journey Inside My Mind Podcast on MySpace and jimmpodcast.com

We came, we strutted, we struck poses, and in general just horsed around, but in the end, someone didn’t like it (eh, snowman?):

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbOKGbgYxlg]

Music: 37Hz [pmn], [myspace], “Just Beats”

Direct link to this video on YouTube

Related tags: journey+inside+my+mind journeyinsidemymind jimm 37Hz

Mar 24

Types of Bras – JOKE ALERT!

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A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife. “What type of bra?” asked the clerk. “Type?” inquires the man, “There’s more than one type?”

“Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable. “Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.”

Relieved, the man asked about the types.

The saleslady replied “There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, “It is all really quite simple …

  • The Catholic type supports the masses,
  • The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
  • The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
  • The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.

via Funny Jokes: Funny Jokes – Types of Bras – Humor and Funny Jokes